Forever Yours?

We talk about everything, you tell me you love me. And I love you too. But what if this isn’t what you want? Could I seriously forever be with you? I want to find the guy I can never leave, the one who will always stick by my side. I hope you are the one.

As a girl Im not sure Ill ever know what I truly want in a guy. I could of married the past three guys I’ve had some type of romantic feelings for. I could find the good in marry them all. And now I could definitely marry you. I want to marry you. I want to have children. I want to settle down. I think. Sometimes I say I don’t but I do.

I hope that I can count on you to always be with me. That you really do love me and will never leave me. That you will never cheat. I love you.

Too soon?

On January 6, 2012, I decided to finally tell him yes. He had been telling me how much he wanted to be with me already. Talking to him made me see I could be happy with him. I just had a few things going on in my life that made me wonder if I should be in a relationship with him. Things that were not to be taken lightly. But regardless I decided to say yes.

We talked instantly about the fact that because he is 24 almost 25 he really wants to be a father soon. I told him I wasnt looking to have kids till I was about that age. This was true, but because of recent events I just want to be a mom now. I love children. He told me that in about two years he could see us married with a kid or two. I want this so bad. And I want to marry him now. Is this all too soon?

I love him and hope that I will make the right choice.


UPDATE make sure you know the guy. He was fake! Happy with my boyfriend Now though. :)

I love everyone in my life.

Pain.

Its amazing how fast a women can fall in love. Its amazing what her body tells her. Its amazing what her heart can want. A women can be so blinded by love. I know that I can fall for a guy quickly and I instantly want to give him everything he wants. I want him to feel loved by me, and I want to feel loved by him. But God wants more.

My heart this very moment is confused. I wonder will I ever love someone like Gerhardt, and then I remember things about him. But I fall so fast for guy, but I haven't got to have that feeling he gave me. I want that in someone. I thought maybe just maybe I could find that in you.

But I think I was wrong. I started to fall for you like the second week of us talking. Yea, its crazy. Then it took months for you to even confess an attraction. I don't think that confession could of came at a worse time. A women has emotions that  can control her entire life. I know I still have feelings for you. But I can't just help but think that you wouldn't stay with me through the tough times.

I can fall in love with anything in a matter of time. Which has brought us this very problem we face to this day. I fell in love with what God gave us. Though we probably didn't get to keep what we were given. It questioned us, it made us wonder if there could ever be an us. Knowing that we believe so differently on this, I don't think it can. And I want it to. We believe very differently, even though you are extremely educated. And everything you told me made sense, and seemed so true. But I'm letting this love take control.

It hurts to know that one simple moment can change the world. And cause so much pain to an individual. I know that the moment you typed the words 'I can't'. I've been wondering how much more pain my life will have in store. But I know God has me safe in his arms.