First love.

We met probably about seven years ago. In middle school. We had some pretty amazing times together. Let me tell you that. I know you will never read this. And actually no one will. We dated on and off for four years. You were my only real boyfriend ever. I know how much you ment to me. I wanted to be yours forever. We planned on marrying July 17, 2010. I couldn't wait for this date. I was ready, I thought. I wanted you, I wanted to be forever held in your arms. I couldn't ever imagine a life with out you.

Well, I guess I would eventually be able to see one. Being cheated on sucks. I know you know this. I did the same to you when we were first starting out our relationship, that was one of the first big mistakes I made. When you cheated I was so devastated I didn't know what to do. I was so upset. I wanted to cry. I did cry. But things got easier eventually.

We lost contact of each other. I learned to pretend you didn't exist. But I knew you did, pretending you did not exist was easier than admitting how I felt.  I missed you. I wanted you. I loved you. I still feel many of these.

You recently told me the same. I think about this sometimes, I have reasons to believe this Love will never leave. I did research if you truly loved someone and they leave your life, this love will never go away. Its true love. They are your first love. You were that very thing my First love.

The first love always has a hold of your heart. Sometimes they get back together but its not all of the time. I know that we are very different. I don't think I could be with you. I know there are things you are not that I need in a guy. But only the future and God know if were going to feel this way forever and if we will ever be together again. Or if we shall fall in love again and marry that person.